It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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