I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
