Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
look no pants
She said her name was "party"
I think I am morally bankrupt
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if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
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and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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