Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
