A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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