I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
