LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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