I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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