I can tuck mytits in my pants
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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