The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize