Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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