This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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