I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
