I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize