Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
