When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
this just has baby written all over it
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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