worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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