u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
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