I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
