He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
