I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
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i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
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If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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