I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The air was thick with penises
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
