It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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