i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
