I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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