Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
