Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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