That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
