if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you had me at cake vodka
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
