I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
