I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
