we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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