i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
