He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
