i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
