yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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