I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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