Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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