I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
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im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
