Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You've changed since you got that strap on
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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