Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
