it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
