I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
