Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
