Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
