Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
