I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
