he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize
