even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize