garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Your mouth is God's brothel.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just had sex on a roof
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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