Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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