it's too hot outside to masturbate.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
