Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
