Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's never too late to be topless.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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