im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
