With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
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...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
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If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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