Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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