tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
