I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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