There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
In America we eat man semen.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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