i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize