doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
