Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think I sprained my soul last night
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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