Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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