on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
