oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize