ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
